i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
