I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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