I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
