i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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