you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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