Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize