4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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