Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
