butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
