I look better un-naked...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
