Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
