Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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