I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
