Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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