belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
