Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
