there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
