I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
