Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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