Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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