i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
