i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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