go do what you do best...puke behind churches
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
