Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
