I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize