hotel room ftw
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
you never un-have a 4some
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
