dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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