idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
