Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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