Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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