she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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