Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
