i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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