let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
