I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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