Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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