i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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