I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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