where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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