And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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