He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I checked into jail on foursquare
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
