I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
