How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
