i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
