I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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