If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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