I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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