meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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