She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize