Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize