love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You smell like stripper and shame
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
