But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
