I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize