ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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