remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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