I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wear drunk well.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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