Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
