What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
