Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
