I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How's work?
Spinning.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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