Can i not drive my cunt home
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
