Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
