You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
